Let me start by saying that I am not expecting a deep river of sympathy on this matter dear friends. As a 34B, I am compact enough that I can run for subways and scramble for elevators without causing a tsunami under my tunic. I am not too terribly compact though. With the right bra (and perhaps a flick of a blouse button) I have just enough contour for my own comfort, and just enough left over for the joy of others.

The list of plusses just goes on. Lingerie designers tend to take their designs from sketchpad to prototype on smallish bust forms. As a result, typical bra designs are optimized for the fit and benefit of slender and modestly gifted gals. And then brassieres of my size are sewn and shipped, stocked and sold here, there and everywhere in such great quantities that I never, ever have an issue finding the very thing, in precisely my pretty zone.

Almost never that is. And now for my lamentations. Your neighbor here in Apartment 34B has been thwarted in my attempts to cash in on some remarkable clearance sales. Many upmarket, multi-brand online lingerie vendors are discounting heavily just now. Let’s call it the Victoria’s Secret effect. Whether you shop at Vicky’s or not, this underwired giantess influences prices. When she drops her drawers many other vendors follow suit.

So lately in Sale Season, I have been taunted via email by venerable and loving luxury lingerie specialists including Bra Smyth, HerRoom, Nancy Meyer and others. The tease starts with savings all the way up to 80% discount from retail, and continues with a lycra reinforced catwalk of superb brands, delicious designs, dizzying prints, frothy meringues of lace, truly wantable bras, to be had for mere dimes on the dollar just a couple of ground shipment days from an easy click of the mouse.

Alas, though. There is not much left over in the bins for me.

You however, might do a little better. Yes you Miss 32A. You darling petite, fine boned thing entirely fed up with juvenile stylings and throwaway quality. Nancy Meyer has her semi-annual sale on just now and you can check out (amongst other lovely things) the Chantelle Africa Molded T-Shirt bra. Full cup at half price. Very lightly molded to add just a little smooth shape. A grown up, womanly bra, rich with all the pretty details you expect from a piece of French lingerie, for the price of a nicely made domestic number.

And you, my big banded, small cup friend. Perhaps it was the competitive swimming or rowing in your younger days, you have wound up with a shape that is more sporty and less spice.  You might find that the Dolce & Gabbana Elite Underwire over at HerRoom provides perfect relief. The graduated padding from cup bottom upwards adds fullness and gently provides a little upwards encouragement to you own lovely contribution. All the way down to $29.99 from $95.00.

And you, my well nurtured and nurturing friends, the clearance racks are stuffed with goodies that you won’t feel quite so stuffed in to. Bra Smyth has been fitting exceptional women in a handful of New York shops since the 1930’s and has strutted beautifully online with a line of goods particularly sensitive to the requirements of the full figured set. Here you will find a great array of treats for people who live on Avenue E, F, G and beyond. For example, the Elomi Smoothing Full Cup ranges from 34FF all the way up and out to 44GG and is knocked down by 2/3rds to $19.99 for fast moving big gals.

By the time you are reading this, these lovelies may be sold out, but this truth remains valid: If you have extreme dimensions, large or small, you might find that the end of season is when you have your best shopping luck. So, rather than wading up to the table top buffet line in your neighborhood mall, hoping for good luck, try a little online sharpshooting. Be sure to read all the fine print, especially the reviews and return policy statements.

Sign up for the email notifications. Keep an eye open for brands with a fit that you know and love. Take the odd gamble here and there on a final sale item even if you are not 100% certain … you may find something you have waited your whole life for. And if you find a bra you love at a great price, go right back and order more while you can.

You might just make a 34B feel a little jealous, and that can’t be an entirely bad thing, no?