If you write about style and lingerie long enough, this is bound to happen: a Kardashian-themed post. My time has come. It is not too late for you to stop reading, but honestly, Khloe and I both will be hurt terribly, and left with scarcely a half-Magnum of top-shelf bubbly to console ourselves.
I came to this theme when I noticed earlier this week that beloved Lingerie-hero and friend Treacle (of Lingerie Addict fame) had been quoted in a very mass-market / high eyeball-count media venue, the Today Show’s online style section. Allow me to quote the Queen directly:
“Women buy expensive hosiery because it makes them look and feel good at a fraction of the cost of a complete lingerie set or a new designer dress,” says Treacle, the blogger behind TheLingerieAddict.com. “Legwear is a practical indulgence. It is something women can wear anytime and with any outfit. They can play with trends, with color and with texture in the same way they can with any other piece of clothing.”
And the church says amen…..
The post also featured snapshots of the notorious Kardashian girls, each sporting pricey hosiery, including Khloe, pictured here in Wolford Bondage tights. Like Khloe, I own these tights. Unlike Khloe, I own the BCBG Generation version of the Herve Leger bandage skirt she has settled nicely into here. Mad about the blouse too, and must find her consignment shop.
Like Khloe, I opened the package and peeled up my new tights with great anticipation. Unlike Khloe, I went through 3 skirts before giving up, changing tights altogether for a different leg look and arriving late for dinner. Earlier this week, a full season after this Epic Fashion Fail, I repeated the process with the same result. I simply cannot make this stripe work for me. And believe me when I tell you I tried.
I have great advantages too. Like Khloe, I am tall. 5’10” in fact. Also like Khloe, I don’t know how to walk in flats. 4” heel is standard stuff. And honestly without false modesty, I have longer and more slender legs. You could thread a needle with my ankles. And still…. I felt stumpy in my Wolford’s. Don’t worry I have no negative body issues or hang ups about weight and shape. I am joyfully envious of shorter, fuller figured girls easy ability to dramatically alter their silhouette with a quick change into big platforms and the cinch of a belt too. It’s all good, really. I just can’t get past the effect of the horizontal stripe.
Whether you are 5’4” or 5”14” tall, when dressed, we want our legs to look long. It is a deeply embedded and absolutely correct desire. The horizontal stripe goes against the pretty grain. And the sting is with me still. My Bondage tights are back in the package, light years away from flashing lights and fresh air.
Perhaps if I could summon my inner Lady Gaga and wade out into the evening in a high cut body and not much else, the leg would look proportionally correct, but then not much else would be correct. Scratch that option entirely.
Sky-high, thigh-high boots would do the trick too I suppose, but then there is so little of the leggy Wolford splendor on display that it hardly makes sense.
My love for Wolford remains true. This is just a lover’s spat. I go to our Austrian friends anytime I have an evening or an outfit that wants something extra special look wise. In fact, the only (other) time I ever wrote O.M.G. was in a post here on Guilty Pleasures featuring a round-up of Leopard print tights. I don’t give up the O.M.G’s without a struggle. I am happy to report therefore that Wolford ran the pattern the other way with the FW11 season entry, Wilderness line (tights, stay-ups and again with the O.M.G, check out the string body). Now that is a stripe that runs the right way.
The Today Show post is worth a look, as is any post on the Lingerie Addict. If you have the time, take a quick run through the comments on the post, and then come back here where we understand you. Style enthusiasts of any height and any budget may be surprised at how much outrage there is out there about the concept of spending a pretty big sum on mere pretty hosiery. Some people, it seems, do not approve.
Like Treacle though, I do approve. Fully.
For those of us who can’t (or wouldn’t) pay $5,000 for the dress, $3,000 for the bag or $1,000 for the shoes, spending $50 on a pair of tights that make the $100 dress look like a million bucks is the only way to go. If $50 feels like a stretch, be sure to visit our Lingerie Promotions page, where you may make out like a gorgeous thief with a great bargain. And please tell us where you and Khloe are finding your bargains here in the comments section.
More importantly, if you did make the Bondage tights work for you, I owe you a drink. Let me know, and I wrestle the rest of the bubbly away from Ms. Kardashian and join you presently, you brave thing you.